Sunday, December 19, 2010

Drawing Me Back

So I have been for sure eating a vegetarian diet these last couple of weeks and vegan sometimes.  I have found that in trying to transition back into a somewhat "normal",  more "socially acceptable" diet, that it is really difficult.  No wonder I liked the hard-core lifestyle of raw vegan.  It is actually uncomplicated and there are not so many decisions to be made because they're already made for me!

I am disappointed especially in the lack of fresh vegetables that I haven't eaten.  Sure, I've still eaten some, but not even close to the quantity that I had been.  Fruit has always been easy to consume and still is.  I have not had any caffeine still and had my first surgary drink early last week.  Otherwise I have been sticking with water like I had been before.

After eating so 'clean' for 5 months, my body is reacting to me introducing not-so-healthy foods back into my systems.  I would say the biggest thing I've noticed is that I have felt "thick".  My weight hasn't shifted, but I feel like it has.  So this weekend I realized I kinda can't stand that feeling!  So, I have restocked my kitchen with loads of fresh veggies and fruits and I have a new plan of action.

What I have been trying to do these past couple weeks is eat healthy in my day-to-day life because I can easily control that.  Obviously, with it being the Christmas season, there have been a lot of dinner parties and family gatherings.  My plan with those has been to eat what is being served, but avoid meat and try to avoid animal-related items (by the way, that is almost impossible with all the cheese and cream sauces, etc. in many dishes!).  So in this week leading up to the feast that is to come on Christmas Eve, I am going to incorporate more green smoothies than I have been eating and I want to be more strict with the other foods that I eat.

I have trained my brain and body to want super healthy foods these past few months and after eating foods that don't fit into that category, I am coming to terms with the reality that I think I really AM changed forever.  Sure it has been fun again to eat foods I haven't tasted in months, and it's great in the moment, but I do not like the way it is making me feel as a whole.  So I'm going to go back to the basics (again!), but with a differently outlook than before.

Overall, I don't necessarily view foods outside of the raw vegan boundaries as poison, as I have called them in the past.  But I also don't want to run to them because they really don't make me feel all.  I'm coming to a place (I think) where raw vegan is my goal, but I'm also not going to freak out when I don't have that option available. 

Okay, that's enough journaling for tonight. :)

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